“Here” refers to that place you never thought you’d be, never wanted to be, and/or never could have imagined in your absolute wildest dreams or darkest nightmares.
I’ve chosen that title for the sake of brevity. But it easily could have been “While We’re Here: Lessons from the Life I Never Wanted to Live” because that’s really what I want us to talk about. I don’t know what your here might be, but I imagine that all of us can identify one aspect or another of our lives and truthfully say, “Well, this didn’t quite turn out like I planned…”
For me, it’s a few things: where I’m living, who I’m living with (or not living with…), my career(s), my bank account. Now let me clarify – that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy with all of those things I just listed. In fact, I very much love my job. And I adore my two four-legged canine roommates who are curled up on either side of me as I write. But that doesn’t change the fact that my life has not turned out the way I expected.
In some very significant ways, this is not the life I wanted.
And I don’t think I’m the only one who has wrestled with these kinds of unmet expectations.
So can we be really real and talk about it? I don’t think it does us any good to pretend that everything is wonderful, in the name of Jesus.
Jesus…the One who makes everything make sense even as He confounds my logic. He is what brings this take-charge-and-get-it-done woman to her knees, unable to force the outcome she envisions for herself. The hardest part about living this life I didn’t want is the fact that it’s absolutely the life I signed up for when I said yes to Jesus. Quite the conundrum.
Somewhere between the life we dreamed of as children and the exceeding abundantly more kind of life that Jesus can give, is the life we’re living here.
So while we’re here, let’s talk about it. Let’s acknowledge it: we are here, and here comes with a mixed bag of brilliance and dullness, joy and heartache.
It doesn’t do our faith any favors to gloss over what is really going on in the name of believing for what comes after here. This directly defies what we read in Romans 4 regarding Abraham (king of unmet expectations, in my humble opinion), whose here lasted quite a bit longer than any of us might have imagined.
It doesn’t do our faith any favors to gloss over what is really going on in the name of believing for what comes after here.
After receiving the promise that he would be the father of many nations, Abraham and his wife Sarah were childless into old age. Yet in Romans 4:19-22 we read that he full-on faced the facts of the biological complications to starting a family at his age. He didn’t gloss over his reality with a flippant comment about how God could do it if He wants to.
(Side note: saying “if He wants to” when we’re in the middle of a fight for faith feels like such a problematic nod to God’s will. Did God promise it? Then He wants to. We (I) have to stop confessing our doubt and calling it God’s sovereignty. But alas…that’s a topic for another coffee sesh on another day. Back to the faith father at hand…)
Abraham faced the facts and he did not waver through unbelief. According to Romans 4, his faith was actually strengthened through the time between when the promise was given and when the promise actually manifested. In other words, he fully acknowledged every complication that came along with here, yet he maintained that here was not his final destination.
Nor is it ours. There is a place and a promise waiting for us. But for right now, we are here.
So while we’re here, let’s talk about it. Let’s acknowledge it, and let’s be strengthened by it. We don’t know how long we’ll be here, so let’s make it count. I don’t know about you, but I kinda never want to go back around this mountain, so I’d prefer to get every bit of meat possible off this bone. I’m 100% mixing my metaphors here, but the point is… I don’t want to be the girl who lingers here simply because she refused to learn the lessons afforded to her in this place.
Let’s ask the hard questions and go back for a caffeinated refill as we process through the answers. Together.
While we’re here, let’s talk about it…
Loved chatting with you this morning! Can’t wait to continue the conversation. Congratulations on the new website.
Thank you so much! We have much more to look forward to!
I enjoyed our coffee chat (literally sipping as I read and digested what you’ve said.) The one thing I’ve found is that my “here” continues to evolve. And there have been past “heres” that almost broke me, and have come back to haunt me in current “heres”. The challenger is when those past places sneak up into my current places. Focusing on my here is sometimes a challenge, one I need to remember to turn to my Father for help with.
Thanks for your words. Looking forward to our next coffee date!
Such good truth there – continuing through each season of life, while not allowing the past to derail us. Praying for you (for all of us!) that we would fix our eyes on Him and experience His peace. I can’t wait to keep learning and uncovering these truths together!
“Did God promise it? Then He wants to”
This is such a simple truth but a powerful one at the same time. It was a great reminder to me this morning that I don’t have to prep myself for disappointment from the God who has never failed to meet and exceed my expectations of a “good” life.
I’m so happy for this website and looking forward to more coffee chats 😄
Yes – Such a difficult truth for me to remember! Simple doesn’t always mean easy. Can’t wait to keep chatting with you, friend!
Yes! I needed to hear this too. Sometimes, I find myself thinking God makes promises to others but not me. This is not true because while I have had my share of struggles and disappointments, God has always been faithful and trustworthy. When I find myself thinking this I know I need to talk to God so he can redirect my thinking back to truth.
Kylie, your words are encouraging. Thank you! I’m excited to keep chatting with you and everyone else.
SHEW…”sometimes God makes promises to others, but not me.” I relate to this so much. We are going to talk more about this in the coming weeks… stay tunes 😉 I’m SO GLAD you are here, Sarah!
First of all, I’m super proud of you and grateful you have chosen to share your heart with the world. Your experiences encourage, challenge, and point us to Jesus.
I miss our times in person at Sitwell’s in our old hairdresser chairs. It has been such a crazy season of really having to trust that God means what he says for me. What doesn’t work is when I try to make things happen. What does work is when I give up and wait on Him. Ha! So much easier said than done but I’m finding a peace in the giving up what I thought it was supposed to look like and letting Him actually paint the picture. Something I was doing of sorts but honestly not fully.
Sipping on my coffee as I read! I love the story and example of Abraham’s patience in the promise. However, I often wonder about the in between times. He is recognized for facing the facts and not wavering in unbelief. But I wonder what wavering in unbelief looks like. I imagine it looks a lot different from emotional moments of unbelief. Love this read!
Yes! I’ve had that same question – what does it look like to waver? I agree that it seems different than an emotional thing, but I can definitely attest to moments where my emotions have almost taken me out of faith for His promises. This is something we will address in a few weeks 😉 Let’s keep talking…
THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG SIS!
My problem with here:
How did Abraham consider Here and yet did not waiver in unbelief. If I am to be honest it’s not the consideration that leads me to unbelief but the TIME of here that makes me waiver in the unbelief. I believe that God can do it, but in the time of waiting I get discouraged unfortunately.
I am praying that in my time of here that the Lord will strengthen my faith as I venture and consider here with Jesus.
Your gifting of transparency is empowering and invites others to be real with God.
Thank you again.
Sis – thank you for being so real (though I expect nothing less from you) 😉 I think it comes down to how our minds interpret His word to us. When He speaks, how often do we add to the word? Maybe we add a little of our own logic to it. And how often do we simply take Him at His word. We know in part, we prophesy in part, and our humanity doesn’t like to deal in “parts,” so I think we often – even subconsciously – fill in the gaps. Maybe our own additives become the fuel for wavering. Praying for you!
Congrats on the new website! I picture you reading your blog to me as we sit on our old apartment futon eating Taco Bell. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear more. Praying for you friend! Much love!
Love this so much!!! Post-church Taco Bell futon feasts are the BEST college memories! Love you SO much!!