Broken hearts shouldn’t equate to broken callings.
I love the Church. I love God’s people, and I love serving in the local church. It is one of my greatest privileges to preach and teach and lead worship in our church under the authority of my pastors (who have poured countless hours into my personal and professional growth – beyond grateful for the men of God who lead our church).
But lately, there’s been some stuff going on that has started messing with me and my comfort in this place I love so much. Nothing the church itself is doing by any means. And nothing they could really stop either.
It’s these letters we’ve been getting. Every time I preach, an anonymous letter arrives in the mailbox. It is addressed to the senior pastor, with no return address and no stamp. So someone is simply dropping this into the mailbox.
Water off a duck’s back. And I’m the duck.
The contents of this letter never vary. In a nutshell, the person is informing us that we are in error for having a woman preach. Now, I’m not the only woman who preaches here. There is another who preaches from time to time as well, so I’ve been able to let this roll off my back – it’s not personal. Plus it’s anonymous which feels pretty cowardly if you ask me.
In one of the more recent letters, however, there was a stipulation about how a single woman who preaches is doubly in error, as she is not submitted to a man in her home or in the pulpit. Given that our other female preacher is married, I was starting to think this might be about me.
But again, it’s anonymous. Water off a duck’s back. And I’m the duck.
I’m no longer unbothered. I’m very bothered.
But today… Today we got a new letter. Not about preachers. This one was about single women leading worship ministries. I’ll give you a rundown of the contents:
- Single Christians over the age 25 are statistically fornicating
- They avoid marriage and do not see its value and should be told that marriage is the better way for them
- Single female worship leaders believe that they are above marriage because of their closeness to God
At this point, water is starting to soak into this duck’s back. I’m no longer unbothered. I’m very bothered. I’ve always heard that you should choose your battles wisely. I promise this is not a fight you want to take on.
Let me be open and tell you at age 40, the two things I mentioned in last week’s blog that I’m still asking God for are partnership and legacy: a husband and children. So this letter really hit below the belt. Not only do you feel the need to remind me that I don’t possess that for which I cry out to Lord as Hannah cried in the temple, but now you also claim this heart-wrenching lack actually makes me unfit for Kingdom work.
As for the women in the pulpit thing… I know this is a hot button issue.
Now, this particular weapon did not prosper – I’m not vacating my position because of this person’s hurtful words. But these weapons did wound.
As for the women in the pulpit thing… I know this is a hot button issue. I wrestled with it myself before ever stepping into that position. I could take the time to tell you my position, but that’s probably better done in person. Rest assured I had my own questions and wanted to be certain that I was honoring the Lord personally before I ever stepped into the pulpit publicly.
But for the sake of time and word count, at least allow me to say this… Jesus honored women, and women evangelized in His name and for His glory. Lydia and her friends started a church in Philippi. There’s no men mentioned in Acts 16, short of Paul and Silas and Luke who was writing). So we have to assume that Lydia was in some sort of leadership simply by the mention of her name and the omission of man’s name.
My hope – my prayer – for us as the Church is that we would biblically empower and lovingly encourage people in their gifts. That we would pray for one another more than we try to correct one another.
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