A love for the process will keep you motivated to finish what you start, but the process is useless without the motivation to actually begin.
First, the mess has to be big. If I can’t see the mess, I ain’t moving. But when the dirt is visible enough to inspire the clean up, then I’ll inevitably go looking for all the small messes. Once I get going, I want the whole place spotless, right down to the teaspoon I used to stir the coffee this morning. Hand washed and put away. In the dishwasher doesn’t count. Which leads to the second condition required for clean up day…
Time. I need a day with no other responsibilities. You can’t rush perfection, and you can’t dry your bamboo sheets on high heat. It takes the time it takes. Your best bet is to settle in for the day, accept your low heat fate, and enjoy the process. Bonus points if you scour the tub so you can end the day with a nice bubble bath.
Lastly, I need the right tools. Running out of furniture polish before I even make it to the upstairs rooms will make me quit on the whole thing. But if I stop at Walmart the day before, stock up on rags, sponges, vacuum filters, and a few varieties of Pledge (because who knows what scent I’ll be in the mood for tomorrow), then I can enjoy the day without stopping mid-project.
What do we do about the inevitable mess that comes with our relationships?
All of this is a great way to handle messes in the house, but what about the messy parts of life? A house stays pristinely clean when one lives in it, and our lives stay clean when no one encroaches on our territory. But we are not created to live in isolation, so what do we do about the inevitable mess that comes from our relationships?
Answer: we clean up.
When the house gets dirty, do you burn it down and rebuild? Of course not. You grab a rag and scrub your way to tidiness. So why on earth would we throw away relationships just because things got a little messy? Roll up your sleeves and get to work.
My grandmother had the most gorgeous china on display in her home. I fixed my eyes on it as a young child and always wanted to use those beautiful dishes with every family gathering. But we never did. In fact, most of the time, we use paper plates. I understand why – fine china was certainly not safe in the presence of nine grandchildren.
But I can’t tell you how many meals I sat longingly staring at those dishes, wishing I could use them just once.
When the house gets dirty, do you burn it down? Of course not. You grab a rag and get to work.
So why should we throw away relationships when things get messy?
Then finally, as a college student on a solo visit to my grandmother’s home, we drank our morning coffee out of the most beautiful pink and gold tea cups. Now, if you knew my grandmother, you might recognize that this was one of her rare “cut loose” moments; tea cups were not meant for black coffee, but she initiated this rebellion against the rules of Emily Post so that her granddaughter could feel fancy.
I responded to her bravery by cautiously placing the cups on their accompanying saucers, taking great pains to avoid chipping the blue jewels adorning the sides of the tiny plates.
Then it was time to do the dishes. As I carried our dishes to the sink – one by one, fearful that I might lose my grip and shatter one of the treasures – my very poised and Southern posh grandmother cautioned me to “Wash gently now, Kylie.”
What a difference between the family meals and the private coffee session. See, handling paper plates is easy. Once the meal is over, you simply throw the mess away. However, cleaning fine china involves a gentle hand, great attention to detail, and truly tender love and care.
Is the beauty of the relationship worth the effort it takes to clean up the mess?
So the question is, is the beauty of the fine china worth the inconvenience of caring for it? Or should it remain locked in a cabinet, in plain sight while we eat off of paper plates?
Allow me to rephrase, lest you miss the metaphor…
Is the beauty of the relationship worth the effort it takes to clean up the mess?
All relationships – friendships, siblings, parents, spouses, coworkers – will get messy from time to time. But what does God say about that?
Bear with one another…
Be devoted to one another…
Love one another as I have loved you.
When was the last time He gave up on you? When was the last time He threw you away? Never.
And when was the last time God leaned in, rolled up His sleeves, and started cleaning you up? Probably not too long ago.
We honor God when we honor His people.
“We live in a culture that is far more focused on escaping the mess than leaning into it.” That’s so true! May God help me to keep His perspective! This post was powerful!