There is nothing for which He has not accounted.
There was the time in college I struggled with my image and how I was being perceived. It wasn’t just a regular run-of-the-mill downcast day – it was the culmination of a lifetime of feeling like I didn’t look the way I was supposed to. It felt isolating, and yet – to date – I’ve never met another woman who didn’t share this struggle at some point.
The ploy of the enemy is to tell us that we’re fighting a losing battle all on our own. But the truth of God shows us a community of believers and a cloud of witnesses who are spurring us on to righteousness in Jesus.
Back to college…
One particularly depressing night, a mentor called me and asked me to come meet her. She didn’t know the depth of my struggle; she called on faith and a word from God that I needed someone to stand with me. As I sat in her office, still not revealing what was on my heart, she handed me a Bible and told me to read Psalm 139. Out loud.
If we want more than we can see, then we have to pray with words that are higher than our own.
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
The ploy of the enemy is to tell us that we’re fighting a losing battle all on our own.
As I got to verse 13, I began to weep, realizing that I was not just reading King David’s words from long ago. More like his words were reading me. Giving life to thoughts and feelings I’d been too afraid to voice to God. Afraid that He would be insulted by the way I hated what He’d made.
In that moment of honesty, I found freedom. Not because these negative thoughts just immediately went away – truth be told, they are still part of my struggle. But because the truth that He knew me completely, loved me completely, and stayed with me endlessly overtook the bad things. The hard things.
Fast forward to current day and the words of Psalm 139 are proving just as impactful. A different section this time:
The truth that He knew me completely, loved me completely, and stayed with me endlessly overtook the bad things. The hard things.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
“You go before me…” Today those words served as a confirmation of something I didn’t even know I would face. But God did.
Lately, my mother has had some health complications (we’re on the upswing, but it was pretty scary for me). She called me from the hospital with a choice that had to be made. Doctors had presented her with two options and they needed a decision.
Read the scriptures. Meditate on them. Pray them. So that when you need a word from God most, you will recognize his voice.
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