We don’t always understand the true definition of these words: kindness and goodness.
But after a great meal together and a message from one of our founders on the first night, I went into the next few days with nothing but joy. Also, the hair was a hit, so that helped. Those first few days were packed with professional inspiration – I was learning so much and was so excited to take that knowledge back to my local community.
Then the last day came. I ran into an old friend I hadn’t expected to see. We’ve known each other since college, and our ministry lives have seemingly followed similar paths, so we were glad to take some time to catch up.
As I shared some things I’d been sensing God was doing – things that I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with – she responded by saying, “All I’m hearing is fear. What are you afraid of? It’s time to name it.”
Not exactly the way I expected our conversation to go. But the words of the previous day’s speaker echoed in my head: you can’t disciple yourself. Ok Lord, if You wanna do this in the middle of a hotel lobby, I guess I can’t stop You.
You can’t disciple yourself.
Neither could I stop the tears as I named my fear and confessed the lie I’d believed to my friend. She smiled at me. Didn’t judge me. And then she prayed with me. She had other people to see, and I needed to go clean up my smeared makeup in the bathroom, so we said our goodbye for the moment.
Soon after, my pastor’s wife made her way to the lobby, and I was able to bring her in to what God was doing in me. She encouraged me in the Lord, and then I got to go meet a friend for dinner. This friend – like so many I was meeting up with that week – doesn’t live anywhere near me, so this was treasured time.
I told her what God had just revealed, how I’d repented for believing something about myself that directly opposes God’s word. She lovingly reminded me that this was such an easy snare to fall victim to.
Reflection is a key component to recognizing the kindness of God in otherwise painful situations.
Then we finished dinner and began to make our way to the closing session. On our way, we ran into the woman who played a key role in my college discipleship journey. Our interaction in that moment was brief, but I was happy to see her as we walked to the other end of the hotel.
We made our way into the ballroom for the final session, found the seats that had been saved for us, and we began to worship with our spiritual family. Then we did something we hadn’t done all week – we received communion together.
Finally, another founder of our movement took the stage and preached a word on the importance of abiding in Christ. He listed off several symptoms that appear when we’ve stopped abiding – nearly all of them were things I’d just repented of about 2 hours earlier.
Did you catch it? The kindness of God in that story?
The night ended, and I said all my goodbyes, then returned to the Airbnb to pack and grab a nap before heading to the airport at 4:00AM. That was the day all the airlines were grounded and no one could fly due to a global tech outage. Except for Southwest flights. They weren’t impacted, and I was booked on a Southwest flight. Made it home quickly, safely, and slept in my own bed for the next twelve hours.
Did you catch it? The kindness of God in that story? Let’s recap:
First, the spiritual family. Sons and daughters. Brothers and sisters. Safety in family. That’s the environment God chose for me to be in when He revealed the lie I’d believed. I was safe and surrounded by love, so all I felt was the godly sorrow that leads to repentance. We addressed the lie, sought the Lord, then dried my tears and got on with it. No need to linger or belabor the point.
Thank you, God.
You’re too kind.
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