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Talk It Out

byKylie Kristeen/May 14, 2025

Follow up to last week’s convo. If you haven’t read that blog yet, pause here, read May 7’s blog titled “It’s Not What You Think,” and come back. Maybe even if you did already read it – maybe just go back and skim it for context. I’ll wait here while you do…

All caught up? Ok, let’s jump back into today’s conversation. What do we do when venting leads to messiness? We talk it out.

One of the pet peeves I have with venting our frustrations is the probability that we are painting a picture which may or may not be representative of what’s true. Should we always concern ourselves with other people’s perceptions? No. But should we be aware of the narratives to which we are contributing? Absolutely. That’s part of loving your neighbor as yourself.

Mark 12:30-31 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

What do we do when venting leads to messiness?

Two quick implications for this passage: first, we have to love God with our entire being. If we don’t do that first, then our methods of loving both ourselves and our neighbors will be completely out of alignment and subject to our own interpretations. From there, you could make the argument that we become our own gods at that point, dictating to ourselves what is right and what is wrong. 

For the sake of time, I won’t pull at that thread today. But I could. And I kinda want to. 

Ok, I’m pulling. But only for this one thought: Scripture will not change, nor will the written word of God contradict the spoken word of God (and yes, He still speaks). So if something you feel or think does not align with the word of God, then change it. He wins. His word wins. We only win because He made a way for us to be joint heirs with His son, who is (by the way) the Word made flesh. So if your opinion is out of alignment with that very word, then change your mind about your opinion, lest He change His mind about you. 

Scripture will not change. So if something you feel or think does not align with the word of God, then change it. He wins. His word wins.

Back to Mark 12. The second implication here is that we have to – in accordance with God’s word – love ourselves if we are to know how to love our neighbors. In other words, don’t put them through something that you wouldn’t want to go through yourself. 

The only way that doesn’t work is if you happen to be a drama-loving, real-housewives-of-anywhere-watching*, tabloid-reading kind of person. The assumption that because you love the drama, your neighbor will too is definitely incorrect. And also completely defies implication number one to have all things flow out of our devotion to God and His word. 

*no shade to the Real Housewives franchise… I’ve had many a snow day and COVID quarantine period for which these shows served as my chief form of entertainment. But it was just that: entertainment, not reality.

If we allowed our devotion to God to color our interactions with one another, then we would be cautious to not serve unrealistic or distorted perceptions of the truth. 

If we allowed our devotion to God to color our interactions with one another, then we would be cautious to not serve unrealistic or distorted perceptions of the truth. 

I recently had a lengthy conversation with someone I work with, and it left me with a particular viewpoint of another person’s opinions. Not good, not bad. Just an understanding I now had. So then I called the person about something unrelated (not the coworker – the person the coworker was telling me about). 

Let me clarify quickly that in my line of work, sometimes we have to discuss other people from a leadership standpoint. It was not gossip, it was informational. But as we will see, it wasn’t entirely accurate.  

So I’m on the phone with said person, and I casually mentioned the convo I had with my coworker. I said, “Hey [coworker] mentioned that there was an issue you were having with [insert topic that doesn’t need to be detailed here] and I just wanted to follow up about that. [Coworker] mentioned that you might be feeling some frustration about that. Can I help?”

Ultimately, how can we all talk this out so that the ministry can improve and the Kingdom be advanced?

Imagine my shock when the person replied, “Oh, I don’t feel any frustration. I’m actually really excited to grow through this. If anything, I’d love to hear your thoughts about how I can improve in [topic] so that I can help out more with ministry in this area.”

Wait… what??

My coworker convo had led me to believe there was some kind of mess that needed to be cleaned up for the sake of ministry. But that was not at all this person’s experience. What did I do? Immediately called Coworker and did a three way call so that we could talk this all through. How did Coworker arrive at the conclusion they did? Does Person need to further clarify their experience for Coworker? For me? 

The kingdom is all that matters. 

Ultimately, how can we all talk this out so that the ministry can improve and the Kingdom be advanced? Because that’s all that really matters. Nothing else lasts. Literally. The kingdom is all that matters. 

So love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. 

Talk soon.

Continue the conversation with the Word:Mark 12, Hebrews 12.

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