He prunes those He loves, so even in the midst of discomfort, we can be encouraged that He has not abandoned us to our own understanding.
Nothing we could have done… Yet there’s something for us to do.
And this is the part that trips me up sometimes. Ok fine…all the time. Like this is the place I find myself stuck… somewhere between what I’m supposed to and what I’m not able to do.
Have you ever known someone who checked in with God constantly? About every little thing? Like waking up in the morning: God should get out of bed now or do you want me to stay?
Getting dressed: Lord, do I wear the purple shirt or the blue one?
Making coffee: Father, should I use the hazelnut or vanilla flavor this morning?
There is definitely something to be said for staying in tune with the Holy Spirit daily. But I’ll admit that this line of questioning always seemed unnecessary to me. I don’t particularly think God cares about the flavor of my coffee or the color of my shirt as much as He cares about the condition of my heart and the attitude behind my obedience.
Nothing we could have done for our salvation…
Yet there’s still something for us to do.
To some extent, I still feel that way. But on the other hand, I’m learning that some level of checking in is prudent for what God is teaching me right now.
I’m a very tenacious person – give me an assignment, and I will not let it go until it is complete. Tell me the end result you’re after, and I’ll get it done. Every time. Like a dog with a bone. I will not quit.
I’m also very loyal. I do not back away from places, callings, or relationships. I’m the girl who once cried because the hairbrush she’d had since the fifth grade finally broke in college.
I would rather obliterate your boundaries with my love and loyalty than set my own protective barriers. Likewise, if someone defects from my life, I have a hard time not taking it personally, and I will probably grieve that loss for years.
What happens when the tenacious person comes face-to-face with an inability to complete the task?
These two characteristics – when combined for good – mean that I am very likely to predict problems and needs, and get ahead of them before you even recognize they exist. My loyalty drives my tenacity. So when someone I care about has a need, I don’t stop until I’ve found a way to meet it. I deeply value completion.
Something for us to do… I’m good at that part of Ephesians 2. But what happens when the tenacious person comes face to face with an inability to complete the task?
This is me right now.
The Lord has brought me to a place where I cannot see the next thing in life. I don’t know what comes next, therefore, I don’t know what to do. I have no plans to create. I have no schemes to design. I have no trails to mark out from here to there.
At all.
In any area of life.
And this is a first. I’m becoming aware of just how often my mind was planning. It was constantly on in the background, like some sort of preparation soundtrack playing on repeat.
The place where I am the most unsettled in my own effort is the probably place where God is most pleased.
Now the soundtrack is silent, and while that should probably bring peace, the reality is deeply unsettling. I no longer have an endgame in mind, so I’m not sure what I’m working towards.
And yet, I’m fairly confident that the place where I am the most unsettled in my own effort is the place where God is most pleased.
I can’t stand the thought of not doing anything to help accomplish the things and dreams God has given me. After all, I long to participate with Him. I love Him. I’m loyal to Him. So the tenacity in me demands to work for Him.
But this time, my work looks different. My participation looks different. Yes, we are created for good works, but let’s not avoid the proper context: we are created in Christ Jesus to do the works prepared for us.
Yes we get to participate. But only through the work of Jesus first. Only for what He prepared for us, not what we go out and get for ourselves.
Knowing that we walk by faith is one thing.
Learning how to walk by faith is quite another.
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