Necessity brings to light talents you never knew you possessed and births a resolve you never knew you needed.
How did I achieve such levels of decorative arrogance? I blame my mother and my aunt. And probably my grandmother since I’m pretty sure they got it from her. I grew up with a mother who designed and sewed all my clothes, as well as the curtains in the house, and the outcome was exquisite. Her creativity is only rivaled by her skill to accomplish what she sees in her mind’s eye.
Anytime my mother saw something cute in a store, I think she took it as a personal challenge to make it herself. And it was almost always a better version for a better price tag, crafted with more love than any amount of money could buy.
This was a skill gleaned from her mother who lived through the Great Depression and a few wars. I can’t tell you how many times I heard that woman declare, “I can do that myself!” Necessity brings to light talents you never knew you possessed and births a resolve you never knew you needed.
When we are convinced that failure is not an option, we are far more willing to take on the impossible.
And then there’s Aunt Kim. Some of the most impactful times from my high school and college years were spent with her in NYC where she lives. There’s not enough time to relay the way this little corner of Manhattan and the family who resides in it has shaped my life.
My aunt has a keen eye for design, and we routinely took detours from our museum and shopping trips to swing by an apartment my uncle was selling and she was staging. Conversations about the properties continued through dinner, and I listened with curiosity to discussion about design choices to the soundtrack of Phantom of the Opera, as sung by my not-more-than-7-year-old cousin.
All this exposure to “I can do that myself!” led me to one inescapable conclusion as an adult purchasing her first home: I’m not paying any more than $500 to get this place up to par. Ambitious? Considering “up to par” included two bathroom renovations, hardwood floor installation, and new carpet… ambitious is putting it mildly.
Walls can be synonymous with obstacles. And our human resolve often causes us to be obsessed with obliterating obstacles.
But after multiple fights with Home Depot employees who like to talk down to women, my mother googling “how to lay kitchen tile,” and countless photos of paint samples texted back and forth to my aunt, we did it. And I paid exactly $500 in labor costs. From “ambitious” to “accomplished.”
When we are convinced that failure is not an option, we are far more willing to take on the impossible.
My family tree boasts a long line of women who are convinced they can design it better, and nine times out of ten, they’re right. So you can see how I arrived at the conclusion that I could tear down the wall separating my dining room from my kitchen in my own condo. I come by this confidence honestly. And genetically, apparently.
But this particular wall can’t actually come down. What I learned from eavesdropping on renovation conversations in that Murray Hill apartment is that some walls are load-bearing; if you take that wall out, the whole place comes crashing down.
The process – no matter how random it seems or how long it takes – is not failing. Don’t let your resolve weaken before the walls fall.
Walls – like the one I wish I could rip out in my condo – can be synonymous with obstacles. They keep people out. Or keep people in, depending on which side you stand on. And our human resolve often causes us to be obsessed with obliterating obstacles.
Think about the walls of Jericho. They represented the final barrier to this piece of God’s promise to the Israelites, and they had to come down. But God didn’t tear them down immediately. Instead, He gave a command: March around the city. For days.
Do it silently.
Do it many times.
Then shout.
Finally – after a series of Simon-says-esque commands – the walls fell. The whole place came crashing down.
Access granted.
The issue wasn’t the commands; it was the Israelites’ obedience to the commands. And it wasn’t random. Imagine how the citizens of Jericho – enemies of the Israelites and of God Himself – would have felt about seeing this activity day after day. Confusion grating on their nerves until it gave way to uncertainty and fear.
God’s instructions are never without merit. The process – no matter how random it seems or how long it takes – isn’t failing you. Don’t let your resolve weaken before the walls fall.
Don’t rename your confidence as arrogance. Don’t despise it; assign it to the One who holds the blueprints.
I love this, “God’s instructions are never without merit. The process – no matter how random it seems or how long it takes – isn’t failing you. Don’t let your resolve weaken before the walls fall.”