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Paid in Full

byKylie Kristeen/July 26, 2023

Welcome back to our coffee chats! Today, I want to tell you a story about how I got my credit card debt paid in full…

I had $9k of debt on a low interest credit card for years. Now, if you’re thinking that my love for expensive shoes and cosmetics is the culprit, think again! It’s possible to run up a bill through completely innocent means. And for the record, I haven’t purchased expensive perfume that didn’t come off the clearance counter at TJ Maxx in over a decade. 

Anyway, I struggled to get this card paid off for so long, and every time I’d get close, there’d be something else that demanded payment. I couldn’t get ahead. So, this January, for the fifth year in a row, I started the year with a dedicated time of prayer and fasting wherein I once again submitted this bill to the Lord and asked for help.

Not the first time, but I thought, “Maybe this will be the year.” Friend, this was the year. A couple of months later, someone contacted me saying they wanted to bless me and sent me the exact amount needed to pay off the card. 

There doesn’t appear to be a method to the way God blesses His people.

No perfect formula, just a perfect Father.

Paid in full. 

Years of struggling, gone in an instant.

Of course, this got me thinking about how God blesses us. Truthfully, I don’t understand it, but I do my best to accept it. I don’t understand why we pray over something for four years, and He waits until year five to do it. There doesn’t appear to be a method to the way God blesses His people; No perfect formula, just a perfect Father.

One of the key verses I’ve worked to stand on during this seemingly-extended waiting period is the second half of Psalm 84:11: No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. I’ve claimed this over and over in my quest to walk by faith and not by sight.

But here’s the thing… walking by faith is hard. Like really hard. And the moment I feel like I’m getting traction, I get in my own way by overthinking. Example: what happens if I slip up and walk un-uprightly (downrightly?) for a few paces?

The steps of a good man (or woman) are ordered by the Lord. If I do something bad, am I still a good woman covered under this promise?

Are God’s promises contingent upon our correct behavior?

Can a moment of bad behavior disqualify us from the care of a good God?

Are God’s promises contingent upon our correct behavior? Can a moment of bad behavior disqualify us from the care of a good God?

Now, these questions may read as totally insignificant or that I’m completely overthinking, which is very typical and likely a good assumption. However, I do think it’s worth considering. How much does the grace of God actually cover?

To be clear… I’m not talking about whether we can lose our salvation. I’m not referring to what happens to us after we die. I’m talking about what happens here on earth. If we have been saved by grace, live as Christians, but we mess up, do we disqualify ourselves from everything that God promises to His children? As with any question about the character of God, I vote we go to the Bible for answers. 

I’ve been reading about King David in 2 Samuel. If you are familiar with his story, you know that he was not perfect, yet he was described as being a man after God’s heart. This was the thing that seemingly qualified him to rule over God’s chosen people, while also being the characteristic that set him apart from his predecessor Saul. 

‘Here’ isn’t always what we envisioned to be the pathway to ‘there,’ but it is in no way a less holy ground.

But David was not perfect. The Psalms are wrought with the moments of wrestling between David’s circumstances and God’s promises. And he didn’t always make great decisions while waiting for the promises to come to pass. David teaches us that ‘here’ isn’t always what we envisioned to be the pathway to ‘there,’ but it is no less holy.

In 2 Samuel chapter 9, we see one of the kindest decisions David ever made as king. At this point, Saul and his son Jonathan (David’s friend) are dead. But David and Jonathan had made a promise to always care for each other’s families. So now that he’s in the palace, David desires to keep his promise.

He finds out that there is a son of Jonathan named Mephibosheth who is lame in both feet. David sends for him, gives him land, a household full of sons of servants, and invites him to eat at the king’s table. This is a significant life change for Mephibosheth, and a huge honor for both he and his household. 

The kindness of King David was on display in this moment, and we can see why he was described as a man after God’s heart.

Our actions don’t disqualify us from God’s care, but God’s care doesn’t necessarily prevent us from experiencing the consequences to our actions. 

But then, just two chapters after sending for Jonathan’s son and keeping a holy promise, David sends for Bathsheba and breaks a holy covenant. In addition to being beautiful, Bathsheba was another man’s wife, and David’s relationship with her resulted not only in an affair, but the murder of her husband.

It was an abuse of power that revealed the depth of sinfulness that resides in man’s heart. So was he still a man after God’s heart? The thing is, David went on to make many godly decisions, and 

After processing the proximity of these two accounts, I came to this conclusion: Our actions may not disqualify us from God’s care, but God’s care doesn’t necessarily prevent us from experiencing the consequences to our actions. 

Bathsheba became pregnant from her encounter with David, but David’s actions had so displeased God that the child born from their union was not permitted to live. Consequence. 

After taking a widowed Bathsheba as his wife, David fathered a second child with her who would grow up to become King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. Grace.

Nothing God does is more contingent upon anything we do than it is contingent upon His character.

It’s about the posture of our heart, not the precision of our actions. 

Are God’s promises contingent upon our correct behavior? I’ve come to believe that nothing God does is contingent upon anything we do more than it is contingent upon His character. It’s about the posture of our heart, not the precision of our actions. 

The character of God and the joy for which Jesus endured the cross both tell me that as long as my heart is pursuing Him He will order my steps. He will right my wrongs. He will forgive my missteps, and He will work all things – even my failures – for my good and for His glory. 

Jesus died for the forgiveness of our sins before we were even alive to sin. The debt has been paid in full. May we live in the confidence of His resurrection, and may the joy of our salvation keep us from sinning again. 

Thank you, Lord, for your tender love and care.

Continue the conversation with the Word: 2 Samuel 9 and 11, Psalm 51 and 139

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